Mr and Mrs Wormwood

Mr and Mrs Wormwood are Matilda's spectacularly awful parents. He is a crooked used car dealer who slicks his hair with superglue. She is a fake-tanned, leopard-print-wearing, ballroom dancing obsessive who has never read a book in her life. They ignore Matilda, insult her, and think television is the pinnacle of human achievement. They are horrible, and they are hilarious.

Personality for Dance

The Wormwoods move like a pair of terrible game show hosts. Everything is performed for an audience that does not exist. Mrs Wormwood struts, poses, and swivels her hips at every opportunity. She is always dancing, even when there is no music. Mr Wormwood is all nervous energy and dodgy salesman gestures. He rubs his hands together, he winks, he nudges, he does finger guns. Together they fill every room with noise and movement that has no substance. They are the opposite of Matilda in every way. She is still and thoughtful. They are loud and empty. The comedy lands hardest when the audience sees Matilda watching them with quiet disbelief.

The Outfit

Top

Mrs Wormwood wears a tight, garish top in leopard print, hot pink, or metallic gold. Think reality television, not fashion. Everything is too bright and too tight. A plunging neckline with costume jewellery piled on. Mr Wormwood wears a cheap-looking suit jacket in a bad colour, mustard yellow, shiny grey, or checked. The jacket does not quite fit. A loud tie, poorly knotted.

Bottom

Mrs Wormwood in a tight pencil skirt or flashy ballroom practice skirt with fringe that swishes when she moves. The skirt should sparkle or shimmer. Mr Wormwood in too-short trousers that show his socks, or ill-fitting suit trousers in a colour that clashes with the jacket.

Accessories

Mrs Wormwood needs maximum jewellery. Large hoop earrings, bangles that clatter, rings on every finger. A compact mirror she checks constantly. Hair spray she applies liberally. Mr Wormwood needs a mobile phone he shouts into, car keys he jangles, a newspaper he waves around. Both should have props that make noise. The Wormwoods are never quiet.

Shoes

Mrs Wormwood in strappy ballroom heels or flashy character shoes with a heel. She should look slightly unstable but committed. If heels are too risky, platform jazz shoes in gold or silver work. Mr Wormwood in pointed shoes or cheap-looking loafers. Something slightly too shiny.

Hair

Mrs Wormwood has big, over-processed blonde hair. Teased, sprayed, curled, the works. A wig is ideal because you can go enormous. Think footballers' wives. Mr Wormwood has his hair slicked back with so much product it looks wet. A thin moustache helps if the performer can manage one. Both hairstyles should look like they took a long time and still turned out wrong.

Special Details

The Wormwoods are a matched pair and their costumes should coordinate badly. They think they match but nothing quite goes together. Same energy as a couple who dresses up for a cruise ship dinner and gets it slightly wrong. For Mrs Wormwood's ballroom scenes, add a practice ballroom skirt over the regular costume, something with sequins and movement that she can swish dramatically.

Movement Tips

Miracle is the opening number where the Wormwoods welcome their new baby with total indifference. While other parents in the ensemble celebrate, the Wormwoods are distracted, checking phones, adjusting hair, posing. Their choreography should be slightly out of sync with everyone else. They are physically present but emotionally absent.
Loud gives Mrs Wormwood her big ballroom moment. She drags Mr Wormwood into partnered dance work, salsa, cha-cha, or an exaggerated tango. He is terrible at it. She is committed but graceless. The comedy is in the effort versus the result. Throw in ballroom lifts that almost work, turns that go too far, and dips where someone nearly falls.
Telly is the Wormwoods' anthem to television. They slump, they point remotes, they zone out. Then the beat hits and they dance at the TV like it is a concert. The choreography should alternate between total laziness and bursts of manic energy. Couch choreography. Standing on furniture. Air guitar with a remote control.
When Matilda tries to talk to them, the Wormwoods physically turn away. They face the television, they face each other, they face anywhere except their daughter. Choreograph this avoidance consistently. The audience needs to see the rejection clearly.
The Wormwoods should always move as a pair, slightly too close together and slightly too much in each other's space. They bump into each other, they finish each other's gestures, they have the synchronisation of two people who have been ignoring their child together for years.

Age Recommendations

Best for ages 14-18 or adult dancers. The Wormwoods need two performers with strong comedic instincts who are willing to look ridiculous. These are big, broad, pantomime-level performances. Cast dancers who are not afraid to be ugly-funny. Ballroom or Latin dance experience helps for Mrs Wormwood's sections. The roles work well for dancers who have strong stage presence but prefer character work over technical perfection. They can also be played by a single duo of any gender combination as long as the comic chemistry is there.